Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
