do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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