We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
