i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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