doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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