He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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