these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
