i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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