she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
my poor anus
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
