when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
