I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
