3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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