So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Two words: blizzard sex
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
