Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Did I show you my penis last night?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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