I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
