Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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