This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
