You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
should my penis look like a turkey
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
