STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
