Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
