I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
