eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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