sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize