Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize