Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
