These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Randomize
