didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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