Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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