O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
