If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
