everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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