OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
