I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
