We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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