whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
