i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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