someone threw a dead crab at me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Damn victory sex feels great
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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