I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
