Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i love accidental penises.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
