im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize