Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
