it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
