in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
