if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
