she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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