My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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