two words: eviction party
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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