It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize