Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
