if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
