My room smells like vodka and shame
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
