i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
