How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
