2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
