How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
