Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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