Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
