She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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