Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
