I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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