I am puke
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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