Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize