What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
